Fox 29’s 10 o’clock news is more A Current Affair than local news.

A small sampling from tonight’s broadcast:

“I never really saw the blessed mary in a pan before…” Young girl responds to her whackadoo father’s fascination with a bread pan.

“If you’ve ever seen Goodfellas… I would bash him over the head with this phone until he passes out and goes to jail.” Local businessman angry over continuous harassment by a deranged telemarketer.